I Love my son. I think that 99.9% of parents love their children. I also think that we have "Do I have to claim him (or her or them)" moments. Like when I received a call from the school saying they my little devil angel had punched another kid in the nose while riding home on the bus the day before.
As soon as the shock passed, I asked for details. No it's not okay to hit another person (honestly he doesn't get spanked or hit and he's not usually an "angry" kid) but what was going on? Did that kid hit him first? How many were involved? What are the consequences the school is pushing so I know what is appropriate at home.
They didn't have any info except there was an argument of some kind and the kid he hit ended up with a bloody nose.
*sigh*
Waitimpatiently for son to get home to find out what happened. Stew. Do mom detective work and figure out which kid and where he lives so a personal apology can be made.
He gets home. Here is what I find out.
This child was sitting in his assigned seat on the bus and when Payton asked him to move over so he could sit there to "because he has to" the kid said "no go sit somewhere else" in a rude attitude. Payton got angry and hit him in the nose.
Really!?!?! ..... *sigh* Okay first thing that's going to happen is you owe him and his parents a big apology and it had better be sincere! Second, we are going to have a very long conversation about why that was not okay, what should have happened, and go over how to keep it from happening again. Next, we'll talk about consequences.
Mom detective work paid off and the kid actually lived a block over. We made it there with time to spare and Payton gave a sincere apology and so did I (he is my kid, so I'm just as guilty for his behavior at this age as he is. At least to my thinking). All was well on that account, the mom was really nice and understanding and the kid was grinning at payton like they should hang out at recess.
We get home and now comes the talking part... I'm not going into all the detail because it was an official MOM talk that lasted forever!!!! He is getting good at putting his hands in his pockets if he gets angry and knows that even if he is embarassed, he will talk to the bus driver if the situation happens again, and it is NEVER okay to hit someone just because your mad!!! That last one was repeated a lot.
If you get hit once and the person is not trying to hit you a second time, you tell a teacher. That ensures the kid gets in trouble and not you. If you get hit and the kid is trying to hit you again, well then you have my permission to fight back and mom will back you up 100%. I might teach him restraint but I'm not going to force him to take a beating and not protect himself.
The school kicked him off the bus for a week (considering their zero tolerance and the fact that they usually suspend any age for this I'm not complaining, actually I think it's pretty fair). At home, well this is a big deal in our house so the game system came out of his room and he isn't allowed to play any electronic games for two weeks, he is not allowed to go anywhere after school and no one is allowed to come over.
I was actually really proud of him when I told him what the punishment would be. No tears, no argument, just acceptance and sincere regret for his actions.... When did my baby get so grown up? I know he's only 7 but I was really surprised! (Isn't it odd how as a parent we can be dissappointed and proud at the same time, man this job is conflicting!!)
This all happened last Thursday and he has been behaving so well that we're thinking of ungrounding him on Friday if it keeps up. I have no idea what other parents would do but, I know that my kid has never been grounded for longer than two days and a week seems pretty good considering the good behavior. Not to mention major points for owning what he did and not making excuses!
On a completely unrelated topic, he came home sick Friday with a stomach bug that lasted all of 12 hours and gave it to us..... It's been 4 days now and I barely feel human! Poor nick refuses to take a day off work to recoup. Hopefully, we'll all be feeling better soon!
On another completely unreltated topic and yet a happier one, Some major quilting is on the way, I could have worked on hexies while ill but I didn't want to infect them. I have some updating on the quilt related stuff I'm saving for the next day or two.
As soon as the shock passed, I asked for details. No it's not okay to hit another person (honestly he doesn't get spanked or hit and he's not usually an "angry" kid) but what was going on? Did that kid hit him first? How many were involved? What are the consequences the school is pushing so I know what is appropriate at home.
They didn't have any info except there was an argument of some kind and the kid he hit ended up with a bloody nose.
*sigh*
Wait
He gets home. Here is what I find out.
This child was sitting in his assigned seat on the bus and when Payton asked him to move over so he could sit there to "because he has to" the kid said "no go sit somewhere else" in a rude attitude. Payton got angry and hit him in the nose.
Really!?!?! ..... *sigh* Okay first thing that's going to happen is you owe him and his parents a big apology and it had better be sincere! Second, we are going to have a very long conversation about why that was not okay, what should have happened, and go over how to keep it from happening again. Next, we'll talk about consequences.
Mom detective work paid off and the kid actually lived a block over. We made it there with time to spare and Payton gave a sincere apology and so did I (he is my kid, so I'm just as guilty for his behavior at this age as he is. At least to my thinking). All was well on that account, the mom was really nice and understanding and the kid was grinning at payton like they should hang out at recess.
We get home and now comes the talking part... I'm not going into all the detail because it was an official MOM talk that lasted forever!!!! He is getting good at putting his hands in his pockets if he gets angry and knows that even if he is embarassed, he will talk to the bus driver if the situation happens again, and it is NEVER okay to hit someone just because your mad!!! That last one was repeated a lot.
If you get hit once and the person is not trying to hit you a second time, you tell a teacher. That ensures the kid gets in trouble and not you. If you get hit and the kid is trying to hit you again, well then you have my permission to fight back and mom will back you up 100%. I might teach him restraint but I'm not going to force him to take a beating and not protect himself.
The school kicked him off the bus for a week (considering their zero tolerance and the fact that they usually suspend any age for this I'm not complaining, actually I think it's pretty fair). At home, well this is a big deal in our house so the game system came out of his room and he isn't allowed to play any electronic games for two weeks, he is not allowed to go anywhere after school and no one is allowed to come over.
I was actually really proud of him when I told him what the punishment would be. No tears, no argument, just acceptance and sincere regret for his actions.... When did my baby get so grown up? I know he's only 7 but I was really surprised! (Isn't it odd how as a parent we can be dissappointed and proud at the same time, man this job is conflicting!!)
This all happened last Thursday and he has been behaving so well that we're thinking of ungrounding him on Friday if it keeps up. I have no idea what other parents would do but, I know that my kid has never been grounded for longer than two days and a week seems pretty good considering the good behavior. Not to mention major points for owning what he did and not making excuses!
On a completely unrelated topic, he came home sick Friday with a stomach bug that lasted all of 12 hours and gave it to us..... It's been 4 days now and I barely feel human! Poor nick refuses to take a day off work to recoup. Hopefully, we'll all be feeling better soon!
On another completely unreltated topic and yet a happier one, Some major quilting is on the way, I could have worked on hexies while ill but I didn't want to infect them. I have some updating on the quilt related stuff I'm saving for the next day or two.
This showed up last night! It was looking like spring yesterday.
Poor Mom.... Keep up the great work parenting and hope you are all feeling well again soon. Sorry about the light dusting of snow. I think it came from up here! We have been getting spring-like weather lately, too. Looking forward to your quilty stuff!
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