Tuesday, February 12, 2013

I have to say, life isn't a fun thing sometimes. Maybe it's losing someone that I've known and loved for a very long time while she was still young. Maybe it has to do with so many wonderful memories suddenly causing a crying fit. It could even be the feeling of guilt because I didn't call or visit often in the last few years. Whatever the reason is, it doesn't change the truth. She is gone, I am here, I miss her.

In the interest of honesty, I'm just going to let you know know that there will be some reminiscing in this post. There won't be anything quilty, I'm saving that for the next post.

Life isn't fair or unfair, it just is. How we choose to deal with the things that happen are what shapes who we are. I vaguely remember reading that in a book, I can't remember which one (for years I read a book a day, now it's more like a book or two a week.)

Amy has been one of my best friends since we met in the first grade. She is a year older than I am, which makes her 27. She was born with Cystic Fibrosis and from day one she has fought for every second she had on this earth. She also endeavored to make every moment count. That is one of the many things I have always admired about her. 

I remember so many things, they all want to jump out at once. Sleepovers, playing video games, drawing on the biggest roll of paper we had ever seen that her parents had bought for her :)

I had never had waffles before staying at her house, to this day her mom makes the best waffles I've ever had. The second time she made them I accidentally dropped my plate and sent waffle and syrup across the living room carpet, I felt so bad for making a mess. Mama Janis just said "accidents happen" and made me a fresh batch after we got it cleaned up.

When we were teenagers Amy loved the band Hanson. She would cut their pictures out of magazines and tape them to her walls, she had over have of her room "wallpapered" in Hanson pictures by the time she got over them :) The day she got over them I fondly remember as "The great Hanson Tear down" because we De-pictured the room in 30 min. what took her so very long to tape up!

Not all memories are good. When we were in High School she gathered our "group" of friends and told us that she was dying. She said the doctors told her she didn't have long. I honestly couldn't handle it and actually went home I was balling so much. I'm still not sure what was missed in translation between the doctors and her. I think it was about doing what she needed to do or her functions would go down and she could die from that. It was an honest mistake and she was as devastated as we were, but I think that was when we started to drift apart more. She became determined to live what time she had and I became even more.... well boring (closed off fits to).

Amy's bachlorette party was something else! Lets just say it was a blast and even though it took place in Indiana I'm claiming the "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" clause ;)

I remember being so honored that she asked me to be Matron-of-honor at her wedding.  I still have the candle that they lit during the ceremony. Her gown was beautiful, white with a corset lace up down the back with red. She was truly stunning that day, but then Amy was always pretty.

Mary has been Amy's best friend for a very long time, almost 10 years I believe. When we would talk on the phone or online she was always telling me about the things that her and Mary did or her, Mary and Tim. I am so glad that she had them and that they shared so many wonderful things together.

I think, sometimes, that I wish I was more adventurous so I could have shared in some of her adventures. Then again it could be equally important that she share those adventures with the people she shared them with. I shared her entire childhood and some of her adult life. I am thankful for the time I had and am happy for the time her other friends and family had to. Having so many wonderful memories of such a great person is a blessing.

I'm sorry she had to leave so soon, I wish she could have stayed.
 It's not my place to decide such things I can only abide them and pray.
I pray for her family, I pray for her friends.
I pray that she's happy and her pains at an end.
Rest In Peace My Dear Amy.
You were loved by many a friend.


  1. Sorry to read about the passing of your dear friend. You are already praying for her family and friends and that Amy is happy and pain-free... I am praying for you.

  2. I'm so sorry to hear of her loss. She was a wonderful lady!